Following are some of the many important things to keep in mind when invited to a wedding:


When invited to a wedding, check your schedule, and inform the hosts well in advance if you can’t make it so that they can invite others who were not included in the guest list.

Helping Hand

Ask them if you could be helpful to them in any way. Especially if the wedding is on a very small scale and the food is cooked at home, you could offer to prepare something. Or may be you are good in crafts and can help with decorating the home. Perhaps you could pick up the bride from the parlor when all the family members are tied up with other things.

Gifts for the Couple

Ask the couple what all they plan to buy for their new home. You could offer to gift a certain item from their list or share the cost of a large item. In this way the couple gets what is useful for them. This also avoids unwanted and multiple gifts like four Dinner Sets and half a dozen Blender Jugs!!!

Gift vouchers of a shop/store/hypermarket, or gifting cash are very helpful for the couple which they can use to buy stuff they really need. There are couples who even use it for their Umrah/Hajj.

Be punctual at the Venue

Read the above again.


Respect the way the host choose to conduct the wedding. Those couples and families who are practicing, trying to follow Islam and please Allah, might have decided not to have music, songs and dances at the wedding. Please don’t go up to them and say that a little music won’t harm or that we can have a dance as this is the ladies hall. Instead, appreciate their efforts and encourage them.

Follow the Rules

If the host informs you that photography is not allowed or/and have ‘NO Photography’/’No Video Allowed’ stickers all over the hall, please be sensitive to this polite instruction. Don’t put them in a difficult situation by pestering them to allow you to take a picture and that you will not show it to anyone!!! They have honored you by inviting you to their special occasion.

Avoid Gossiping/Slandering

This is a trait to be avoided at all costs. Whether it is gossiping at the wedding with another guest or discussing negatively about the wedding later, it is not befitting of a Muslim to engage in such a horrendous deed.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you know what gheebah (backbiting) is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “Saying something about your brother that he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He said, “If what you say is true then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.” [Muslim]

Do as asked

Don’t take uninvited guests with you. A lot of planning is involved by the hosts especially with regards to the seating and food arrangement, and having extra guests might stress them and cause embarrassment.


At a time when all the elders are busy chit chatting with each other, it’s fun time for the children running around and making a mess either with the food or with the decorations. Please keep an eye on the kids and control them.

Dinner is served

When asked to proceed to the food buffet tables, form a queue and go in an orderly manner even if the dish/food you are eyeing is towards the end. Do not jump queues. The hosts try their best to arrange food more than the people invited so rest assured you will get to try everything spread out on the table.

Avoid piling up food in your plate and wasting it in the end. Even though you are not paying for it, you are still accountable for the wastage in the sight of Allah.

These are some of the points which I am sure you can relate to. Feel free to share more in the comments section below.

7 Replies to “You Are Invited”

  1. I’ll just take a print out of this article and share it with people in all our desi weddings. People cannot maintain standard decorum thinking oh it’s just my relative etc and So I can be late/comment/ask them for a photo etc. We desi really need a lesson or two in wedding decorum.

    You are so very right about the gifts part…multiple dinner sets lol. I still have unopened dinner sets from my wedding hahah.

  2. I can so relate to most of these. Unfortunately as Muslims, most of these etiquttes have been forgotten or swept under the carpet for inferior cultures to supercede.

    I’m a strong advocate of giving gifts that are useful and beneficial to recipients rather than duplicating items only for them to be kept in storage for many years after. What a waste and cluttering up of much needed space.

  3. People unfortunately do not adhere to the rules of ettiquettes as they should. When done it really makes an event much more pleasant. Thanks for the tips!

  4. Good points Naila.
    I would just add here to remind people to compliment the hosts and the newly wed on their arrangements and efforts and dresses. It’s a day everyone work hard to look and do great right ?:-)

  5. You covered everything, mashAllah! Now if only people understood all this. But when you’re in the position of managing or participating in a wedding (or being the one getting married!) you can only influence people so far. You have to keep your dua on and trust Allah not to penalize you for what other people do when you can’t control it.

  6. Ah! I believe these pointers are very important and this post must be read by everyone. I can totally relate to these!

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