In Part- 1 of the series, I listed Signs of Difficult People & Coping Strategies when interacting with them. In Part-2 (& the final) of the series, below, I have mentioned the type of mindset we need to have when approaching or dealing with a difficult person. And, also what if it is US actually, who is the ‘difficult’ one! How do we know it and what do we do then?
Mindset when Approaching or Dealing with Difficult People
Understand that their battle is not with you but themselves.
They don’t know how to deal with their emotions.
Help them and advice them in a nice way. Get a neutral mediator involved.
Don’t hate them. Treat them with love and mercy. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was always kind to people and concerned for them. It might even be that our good behavior makes them realize their mistakes and pushes them to change for the best.
Always have good hopes from Allah no matter how impossible people may seem. We need to know that difficult people in reality are suffering, and are in need of help. They are in need of mercy and appreciation. They need our empathy and understanding. Make loads of dua as its Allah ultimately who has control over everything and is the Changer of hearts.
He whom Allah Guides is the [rightly] guided, but he whom He leaves astray – never will you find for him a protecting guide. (Surah Kahf; 18:17)
Also, remember that even people can be a test for us so that we control our anger and be more merciful and soft. They are placed in our lives as a means for us to gain excellence in our character.
And We have made some of you [people] as trial for others – will you have patience? And ever is your Lord, Seeing. (Surah al Furqan: 25:20)
Make dua for yourself and also for those difficult people you are dealing with and never despair Allah’s Mercy.
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) too faced many difficult people who did everything they could to stop him from propagating Islam so much so that they were after his life. But what examples do we see from his life? We find him to be forgiving, contented, always having a smiling face and not getting distracted from his mission or responsibilities.
What if you are the one who is difficult?
Look up for the signs of difficult people mentioned in the first part of this series and analyze your personality according to it.
You need to realize that it is OK to be corrected by others and to accept their opinions. There might be a possibility that people react negatively only due to your own inabilities of handling situations the right way.
Look at situations through the eyes of the other person. What is his personality, how does he perceive this situation and why is he reacting this way? Just like you like to be valued and given importance, the other too expects the same from you.
Increase your tolerance level and take things easy. Give others space to an extent wherein you allow them to respond to situations in ways different from what you expect. Not everyone will agree with what you say or do, so to be fair you too must be flexible and compromising. There can be more than one way to do things. There might be other views than ours and it’s OK to respect, accept and follow them.
Sometimes we don’t realize our own shortcomings because nobody told us of our weaknesses. Nobody tells us that we are wrong to avoid being in our bad books. Hence if someone advices us even if through hints alone – do take it, instead of being offended, and always recite the dua of Yunus (May Allah be pleased with him):
There is no deity except You; exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers.(Surah Al-Anbiya; 21:87)
*Originally Published on: www.arrajaathehope.wordpress.com/2016/09/29/dealing-with-difficult-people-part-2
Have you ever come across a difficult person? How did you deal with that situation? Looking forward to your comments below.